Revisionist History

You say you want to wipe out all traces of web sites you've visited? Good luck. Windows keeps track of your activities in many places on the computer. Try the following:

Edit your browser's History
- To remove some pages from History,
   - Open the history bar at left - click on the History button
   - Click on the View menu
   - Select By Site
   - If you find an unwanted URL, right-click on it and choose Delete.
- To remove the entire history
   - Click on Tools
   - Click on Internet Options
   - Under "History", click on "Clear History"


Edit the Windows Registry
- Start --> Run --> ReEdit --> [ENTER]
- Navigate to the key named HKEY_CURRENT_USER\ Software\Microsoft\Internet Explorer\ TypedURLs. The values in the right-hand pane have names like url1, url2, url3, and so on.
- Scan the list for unwanted URLs
- When you find one, note the name, and delete it
- Repeat as needed
- Patch the list to eliminate gaps created by deleting those names.
- Find the value whose name includes the greatest number. Note that the values are sorted as if they were text, so url10 comes before url2. Change the names of higher-numbered values so that there are no gaps in the numbering. If you skip this step, Internet Explorer will ignore the items after the first gap.

Delete the Temporary Internet Files
The browser maintains a cache of previously viewed web pages. Deleting those is important if you're trying to cover your tracks. In your web browser
- Click on Tools
- Click on Internet Options
- Under "Temporary Internet Files", click on "Delete Files"

Congratulations. You've made it much harder for your parents to find the porn sites you've visited.

Pumpkin Carving for Dummies

How to carve a pumpkin.

Fractions in Microsoft Word

To create 1/2, 1/4 and 3/4, use AutoCorrect.

To create 1/3, 2/3, 1/8, 3/8, 5/8, and 7/8, use Insert --> Symbol --> Subset --> Number Forms.

To create sixteenths, use an equation field.

Example:
To create the fraction 5/16, Press Ctrl+F9 to insert the curly braces that define a field. Between these braces enter "EQ \F(5,16)" (no quotes). With the insertion point between the curly braces, press Shift+F9. Then set the font size for the resulting equation to approximately one-half the size of the surrounding text. The result should look like this: 5 16.

Highlight the fraction and choose Tools --> AutoCorrect. Just below the middle of the resulting dialog you'll see two boxes labeled Replace and With. The With box should contain your fraction, with "Formatted text" selected above it. Enter 5/16 in the Replace box and click OK. When you enter 5/16 you'll get the nicely formatted fraction. Repeat this process for all the other combinations. It's tedious, but you only have to do it once.

If you prefer a diagonal-style fraction, you can type "EQ \s\up(5)/\s\do(16)" (again, no quotes) between the braces instead. In either case, you'll want to replace the existing 1/2, 1/4, and 3/4 entries, since either type of fraction produced by the equation field doesn't look quite the same as these.

Something Every Computer User Needs

A website that generates random quotes from Mr. Spock.

It even provides the name of the Star Trek episode from which the quote is taken AND the Star Date that Spock uttered those words of wisdom.

See! I told you that the Internets* are not a waste of time.

The concept of multiple Internets was introduced by US President George W. Bush.

Catch Up With Old Friends You Didn't Even Know

Now you can hang with people with whom you have common interests. And you can do it from the comfort of your favorite computer. No need to get dressed. No need to deal with people's bad breath and other poor hygiene. No need for anyone to see what a loser you really are. When you're online you can be anyone or anything you want to be.

More importantly, you get get ideas, answers, suggestions about nearly any topic - and you can share your knowledge, wit, and wisdom. Heck, I've known couples who met in on-line groups.

Joining is free. So is starting a group. Groups can be private or public. There are thousands of 'em. 77 on rattlesnakes, 39 on Scientology, 69 on Ford Trucks. Alumni groups? 39,557. Writing? Almost 11,000. Gay Skateboarders, 6. Multiple Personality Disorder? Around 28,000 - but their numbers may be padded ;o)

I've set up on-line community groups. The most recent was a place for people to discuss a controversial local topic. It turned out to be like an interactive "Letters to the Editor" page, complete with good ideas, bad ideas, biting, kicking, scratching, information, misinformation, and disinformation.

All of that said, and I've used them, too (now you know the truth about me). Find me at Yahoo Groups... when Hell freezes over.

Common Question, Expensive Answer

Q. My computer frequently shuts down after displaying the message "System Shutdown initiated by NT authority/system. Remote Procedure Call service terminated unexpectedly."

A. The Remote Procedure Call (RPC) is one way to allow a program on a computer to run a program on a server computer. That's legitimate. However, when a computer crashes due to an RPC call, I'd suspect that a worm has invaded your system. MVPS.org has links to patches and tools that should be able to help.

Think about this:
- If a virus, trojan horse, or worm has invaded, there is an excellent chance that you aren't using an up-to-date anti-virus program.
- Microsoft provides patches that address specific vulnerabilities in Windows products. See Microsoft's website.
- If one virus, trojan horse, or worm is attacking your computer, there is an excellent chance that dozens or hundreds more are inside your computer.

Action plan:
1. Backup all of your data. Don't forget data that is not in your "My Documents" folder. E-mail, address book, financial programs, and others often store data outside of "My Documents".
2. Re-install your operating system.If your computer came with a "Restore Disk", use it. That should eliminate everything on your computer, and then return it to its original condition. If not,
- reinstall Windows; when installing tell it to re-format the drive.
3. Install a firewall on your computer
- The only software firewalls worth using are from ZoneLabs; they have a free version (which I've used for years) and more expensive, more powerful firewalls.
4. Install an anti-virus program. My recommendations are at
- Grisoft; the program and updates are free. They also have advanced versions which do more than the basics. You can set up this AVG software to automatically load updates and automatically scan your computer on a schedule.
- Symantec; it retails for approximately $50 with a year of updates included; subsequent years of updates cost under $30 per year
Either of these products - and regular updating - is essential.
5. Restore the backed-up data to your computer. Scan the backed up data immediately after restoring it to your computer. Did I say "immediately"? If not, here it is: scan the backed up data immediately after restoring it to your computer.
6. Install one or more programs that detect and remove spyware. I use two products which are free, and are supported by free updates:
- AdAware; there are more expensive, more powerful products available at that website
- Spybot
7. Frequently scan your computer for viruses, trojan horses, worms, and spyware. Did I say "frequently"? I meant to say weekly.

Some people have to pay a technician $300 - $1000 before the "frequently" part sticks.

Halloween Web Sites

This year, Halloween is on Sunday, October 31st. Some sites to help in this effort:

• PBS Kids: Halloween Get ready for trick-or-treating with some of you favorite PBS shows and characters like Arthur or Cyberchase.
http://pbskids.org/halloween/

• Howell Family Pumpkin Farm Find tips on how to Carve Pumpkins, view and download unique. Carving Patterns for free, check out interesting Pumpkin Trivia, go to cool Pumpkin Links and get great tasting Pumpkin Recipes.
http://www.ahowlinggoodtime.com/carving/

• Hershey's Halloween Download spooky screen savers and wallpaper. Get pumpkin carving help, "Mummy's Favorite Recipes," safety tips, and more ideas for Halloween fun!
http://www.trickortreats.com

• Scary.com Dare to be scared? Venture into the Slapstick Swamp or Magigoria Mansion, and find Halloween songs, costumes, jokes, recipes and cartoons.
http://www.scary.com

• Animated Halloween Find ideas for costumes, decorating, recipes, and party planning plus haunting jokes, games, coloring, music, and holiday history.
http://www.animatedhalloween.com/en/main

• Ben & Jerry's Halloween These ice cream experts offer cool and creepy holiday fun! Check out the flavor graveyard, desktop wallpaper, games, coloring book, crafts, history, and more.