Windows Vista Error: User Profile Cannot Be Loaded

Windows Vista has an anomaly (that's marketing-speak for bug) that prevents users from logging in. One day you attempt to log in, and Vista responds with 'The user profile service failed the log on. User profile cannot be loaded.'

Here's how to fix it:

• Work in Windows Safe Mode
1. reboot the computer
2. during the boot process - at exactly the right moment before Windows opens - press
   
   • the way to get the 'right moment' is to tap once each second until the Safe Mode screen appears - it is a screen with a black background and a lot of white text
   • if Windows delivers a standard Windows login screen , you missed the moment in which you can start Safe Mode
   • if so, reboot and try again (and again and again) until you enter the Safe Mode screen
3. when in the Safe Mode screen, left-click on Safe Mode (it is usually at the top of the screen); you will jump to the Safe Mode desktop, which looks like a very plain Windows desktop
   
• Perform a System Restore
  1. left-click on
  2. left-click on Accessories
  3. left-click on System Tools
  4. left-click on System Restore; you will jump to a screen that resembles a calendar and lists several Restore Points
     
  5. select the most recent Restore Point
  6. follow the on-screen instructions to restore your computer's system to the last known good configuration
     
  7. do not interfere with the process - allow it to complete and to automatically reboot;
• After the reboot, Windows will (or at least, should) let you log in.