Burger King Special

Why didn't Tom DeLay serve in the military during Viet Nam days?

" 'He and [ Dan ] Quayle', DeLay explained to the assembled media in New Orleans, 'were victims of an unusual phenomenon back in the days of the undeclared Southeast Asian war. So many minority youths had volunteered for the well-paying military positions to escape poverty and the ghetto that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like himself. Satisfied with the pronouncement, which dumbfounded more than a few of his listeners who had lived the sixties, DeLay marched off to the convention'."

Other Burger King Awards:
Bill Clinton, for "I did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky."
Susan Smith, who tearfully told the world that a black man had hijacked her car with her children in it. It seems she got a few details wrong - the ones where she strapped her 3 children into their car seats and launched the car into the lake.

C'mon folks, who saw those on TV and DIDN'T say "S/he's lying"? I have a bridge to sell you.

Oh, and Honorary Side of Fries for Newt Gingrich, who blamed the Smith murders on "the Democrats".

Why "Burger King"? Where else can you get Whoppers like these?

OK, not including Presidential speeches.