Presdidential Candidate Flip-Flops on Still Another Issue

Speaking a few months after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, George W. Bush said "I have no ambition whatsoever to use this [the 9-11 attacks] as a political issue."

However, Bush's re-election team has unveiled his first campaign advertisements which in part use the events of Sept. 11, 2001...Two ads refer to the tragedy of Sept. 11, 2001...One ad, entitled 'Tested,' shows, among other images, a damaged building from the World Trade Center ruins behind an American flag.

Negative reaction has been swift. The ad is already provoking outrage among 9/11 victims' families as well as firefighters who were at the scene that day. "It's a slap in the face of the murders of 3,000 people. It is unconscionable," said Monica Gabrielle, whose husband died in the twin towers.

Similarly, firefighter Tommy Fee of Queens Rescue Squad 270 said, "It's as sick as people who stole things out of the place. The image of firefighters at ground zero should not be used for this stuff, for politics."

As the nation headed for war last year, President Bush "clamped down" on the media, extending and expanding a controversial policy that banned reporters from photographing flag-draped caskets of soldiers killed in combat. The White House said the policy was enforced to "spare the feelings of military families."

Yet, in the very first television advertisement of his 2004 campaign, the president has blanketed the nation's airwaves with an image of "firefighters carrying a flag-draped body" from the 9/11 wreckage at Ground Zero.

The hypocrisy of preventing Americans from receiving a "reminder of the toll of war" at the very same time the president exploits an image of a dead body for his own political gain has caused an outrage among victims' families. Chris Burke, whose brother Tom died in the attacks, said, "Using my dead friends and my dead brother for political expediency is dead wrong. It's wrong, it's bad taste and an insult to the 3,000 people who died on Sept. 11."

More:Bush TV Ads Anger 9/11 Victims' Families, ABC News 03/04/2004

Eight Million Americans Rescued From Poverty

WASHINGTON, DC—Approximately eight million Americans living below the poverty line were rescued from economic hardship Tuesday, when the U.S. Census Bureau redefined the term. “We are winning the war on poverty,” said bureau head James Irving, who lowered the poverty line for a four-person family to $14,945. “Today, millions of people whose inflation-adjusted total household income is less than $16,780 are living better lives.”

Said formerly poor Jackson, MS, motel housekeeper Althea Williams: “I never dreamed I’d ever become middle-class. America truly is the land of opportunity. Minneapolis Herald

Letter D Pulls Sponsorship From Sesame Street

Noted Consonant Alienated by Controversial New Gay Muppet

NEW YORK--A spokesperson for the letter D announced Monday that the consonant is withdrawing sponsorship from Sesame Street following a Children's Television Workshop announcement that a homosexual muppet will soon join the show's cast.

"The letter D is proud to have brought you many wonderful Sesame Street episodes throughout the program's 28- year history," said Patricia Willis, public-relations director for D. "But the letter D does not condone the sort of morally questionable lifestyles that Sesame Street is advocating with the introduction of this new character. It can no longer in good conscience associate itself with the show."

Willis said D's withdrawal is effective immediately, and applies to both capital and lower-case versions of the letter.

The gay muppet, "Roger," will be introduced on Sesame Street Dec. 23, CTW director Leslie Charren said. Thus far, no other sponsors have pulled out, though the number seven has requested an advance tape of the episode before it makes a decision.

Many public-television insiders believe D's withdrawal was motivated by a desire not to alienate religious conservatives, a section of the population that employs the letter frequently. "D is for, among other things, demagoguery, dogma and doctrine, words crucial to right-wing groups like the Christian Coalition," said Yale University political-science professor J. Wright Franklin. "It is likely that D felt it could ill afford to offend such a large segment of its users."

While a long-term replacement for D has not yet been secured by Sesame Street, the number three will temporarily fill in for it in a number of the show's animated shorts. Other pieces will simply skip from C to E, with vocalists stretching out C into two syllables to match the rhythm of the alphabet song.

Sesame Street is stung by the sudden departure of its longtime supporter. Speaking to reporters, cast member Cookie Monster said: "Me disappointed letter D choose to end relationship with Sesame Street due to pressure from extremely vocal minority. We accused of endorsing deviant lifestyle. Me say homosexuality natural, not immoral. Diversity and enrichment. That's good enough for me."
Shamelessly lifted from The Onion

Top Ten Anagrams for "Defense of Marriage Act"

Top Ten Anagrams for "Defense of Marriage Act"
10. Free! Free! Satanic dogma!
9. America's negated offer
8. Fanatics referee dogma
7. Fear of Satanic emerged
6. Farce of a disagreement
5. I fear act of same-gender
4. Deceit of free anagrams
3. A farce of it: same-gender
2. A. Gore fancies mate Fred
And the number one anagram for
"Defense of Marriage Act":
1. Fear decrease of mating

Keyless Encounters of the Weird Kind

Was it the storm clouds, sun spots or Area 51?

By late Friday afternoon, some locksmiths, car dealerships and towing companies had been flooded with calls about mysteriously malfunctioning keyless vehicle entry devices.

There were nearly as many theories as there were lockouts. But there were no firm answers as to why the remote devices stopped working.

"Maybe it's those little green men up north," said Nellis Air Force Base spokesman Mike Estrada, whose own keyless entry system failed. "Are there sun spots? I've been trying to figure it out. It happened to me right after lunch." More....

This Guy Should Be Writing Letters To Penthouse....

.... instead of posing as an expert on human sexuality. Fact Sheet. (PS: the American Psychological Association dropped him from membership over 20 years ago for ethical violations)

Dr. Paul Cameron, founder of the Family Research Institute http://www.familyresearchinst.org/ and the Institute for the Scientific Investigation of Sexuality (ISIS):

"Untrammeled homosexuality can take over and destroy a social system," says Cameron. "If you isolate sexuality as something solely for one's own personal amusement, and all you want is the most satisfying orgasm you can get - and that is what homosexuality seems to be - then homosexuality seems too powerful to resist. The evidence is that men do a better job on men and women on women, if all you are looking for is orgasm."

Well, he reveals a lot about himself in that statement. What he ignores is that homosexuals, like straights, form long-term loving relationships where sex is only one component of the relationship. Note: people both groups also have problems with promiscuity, adultery, inability to form and keep strong bonds, etc.

So powerful is the allure of gays, Cameron believes, that if society approves that gay people, more and more heterosexuals will be inexorably drawn into homosexuality. "I'm convinced that lesbians are particularly good seducers," says Cameron. "People in homosexuality are incredibly evangelical," he adds.

People involved in gay-bashing are incredibly evangelical. They'll make up all kinds of bizarre claims.

Perhaps the doctor takes his research a little too seriously, if you get my drift.

I know that in my case, I've watched news of thousands of same-sex marriages recently. Not only do I not get aroused by the news, I don't even contemplate the bedroom activities that will likely ensue. Couples are couples, whether same-sex or mixed-sex, married, unmarried, whatever.

"It's pure sexuality. It's almost like pure heroin. It's such a rush. They are committed in almost a religious way. And they'll take enormous risks, do anything."

Exactly how does he know this? Maybe he needs to spend less time in adult film theatres - or in public restrooms.

He says that for married men and women, gay sex would be irresistible. "Martial sex tends toward the boring end," he points out. "Generally, it doesn't deliver the kind of sheer sexual pleasure that homosexual sex does"

Well, he reveals a lot about his relationships in that statement. I'd recommend counseling.

So, Cameron believes, within a few generations homosexuality would become the dominant form of sexual behavior.

If that's so, then why hasn't homosexuality taken over in the 400 or so generations of recorded history? And how many cold showers does this guy need?

Kerry Will Be The Democratic Nominee For President

Brace yourselves.

Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal. Liberal.

Heard enough? Then ask the mudslinger to define the term. Very few can define "Liberal" without making fools of themselves. While they're at it, they also define their own favorite candidate very effectively.

A Question of Balance

Once upon a time, God was missing for six days.

Eventually, Michael the Archangel found Him resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God. "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?" "

It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth: "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a Continent of black people." God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land mass and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God. "That's Washington State--the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful streams, hills, and forests. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world -- as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then exclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"

God smiled, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in the other Washington."

Finally, Someone Else's Sex Life On Which To Obsess

For eight years the rightwingnut whackos spent their waking hours fretting over Bill Clinton & His Magic Willy. Now, after a three-year draught, they finally found a new target: the the marriages of gays and lesbians.

The world didn't unravel when Bill misbehaved, and it won't come undone when we accept same-sex marriages. Folks, get your heads out of the gutter and start worrying about living up to Christian principles. If same-sex marriage is really evil, God will sort it out; s/he doesn't need your help.

How to Improve Your Chances in the iTUNES Giveaway

Pepsi is giving away up to 100 million downloads of songs from iTunes.

To qualify as a winner, you need an alphanumeric code hidden beneath the cap. If the cap is not a winner, it will have "PLAY AGAIN" under the cap.

That's where the cheat comes in: in the store, tilt the bottle about 25 degrees; see what the underside of the cap says.
- if you see the words "PLAY" or "AGAIN", then that bottle doesn't have the code for the free download.
- if you see some random characters, you have a winner.

According to Pepsi, one in three bottles has the 10 character code. Carefully "shopping" for Pepsi should improve your chances.

Or so I'm told.....

Moron of the Month

HOWARD, Wis. - A man and his wife took cover behind a refrigerator when bullets began exploding in their oven, authorities say.

Capt. Craig Kohlbeck of the Brown County Sheriff's Department said the husband had put the ammunition and three handguns in the oven before the couple left on a vacation.

He told officers he thought the items would be safe there in case someone broke into the home while they were away.

They had apparently forgotten about the bullets by the time they returned from their trip Tuesday - the wife turned on the oven to prepare dinner and the bullets ignited, Kohlbeck said.

No one was hurt.

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