MMS Friends

(the blog formerly known as Je ne sais quoi)

Friday, September 03, 2004

War Is Heck

One sees buttons that read, "At least Clinton's lies didn't kill anyone." Harsh words. Yet the Iraq war is the result of deceptions in which the president and his administration have indulged and indeed continue to indulge. Planned before the attack on the World Trade Center, it is not part of the so-called war on terror. Iraq was not involved in the attack and was not seriously linked with al-Qaida. There were no weapons of mass destruction. There is little hope of a peaceful and democratic Iraq. The Iraqis hate us (as the Gallup Polls there indicate). There will not be a shift of the balance of power in the Middle East. The ouster of Saddam Hussein might cost eventually thousands of American and tens of thousands of Iraqi lives.

Some defenders of the president argue that he did not deliberately deceive the American people. Yet he and the vice president and the neo-con intellectuals continue to repeat the falsehoods, modifying them ever so slightly so they will enjoy some superficial plausibility: We may still find the weapons of mass destruction, there were some "connections" between Iraq and al-Qaida.

If you tell a big enough lie and tell it often enough, some people will believe you. Never admit your mistakes, never assume responsibility for the consequences of these mistakes. Keep repeating the same old deceptions -- often with a show of anger -- and enough people will believe you to re-elect you. The war proves that you are a strong leader, a man who can make the tough decisions, a man not greatly concerned about "sensitivity."

If ever there were high crimes and misdemeanors, the lies about the war in Iraq fit that category. We are an odd people. We impeach a president because he lied about his private sex life, which killed no one and harmed no one beyond his family. Yet we support and may well re-elect a ''strong'' president whose lies are responsible for so many flag-draped caskets, so many poignant obituaries, and so much grief.
-- Andrew Greeley

Thursday, September 02, 2004

How To Watch Bush's Speech Tonight

Assemble: TV. Whiskey, preferably the large jug variety with the convenient handle on the side. Stack of singles. Piece of toast. Box turtle. Tinfoil roll. Banana. Group of friends. Brazil nuts. Fishnet stockings.

Terrorists: Sip whiskey. SMALL sip. It's going to be a long night.

Freedom: Ditto.

Kerry mentioned by name: Sip.

Osama mentioned by name: Give the person on your left five dollars.

Iraq & Sovereign in same sentence: Sip. Take another sip if he prounounces sovereign as something you recognize.

The Lump: Sip. Chug the whiskey if he actually calls her "lump" and if the camera cuts to her looking dismayed, put fishnets over head.

Abu Ghraib: Sip
Abu Guh-RAHB: Sip
Abu Grabby: Sip
Abu Grape: Sip

If he stutters: Make out with the person on your right

Mars: Wrap tinfoil around head, chant "moon base."

Gay marriage: Hoist the box turtle in the air, make porno music noises. "Bamp chicka chicka bamp bamp!"

Values: Chug. C'mon, you need to dull the pain by this point.

Any of the following words: Soar, flight, wings, arise. Throw Brazil nuts at the TV.

Smirks: Throw a banana to the chimp.

American Dream: spread singles on the table in front of you, rub face on them.

Afghanistan: Pour a shot into the mouth of the person on your left.

At the end of the speech: Drink remaining whiskey, eat toast.

Ripped off, without apology, from First Draft

Limerick

said karl to george on views
its your job to distort all news
and after you’ve lied
i want you to hide
under the skirt of one karen hughes
-- R.Wiley

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Dating Tip

8 seconds is a long time to a bull rider.

Mamas, don't let your daughters date cowboys....

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Simple Wisdom

In an earlier time, I would never have believed this. Theory says it's absurd. History proves it's right.

"To live like a Republican, vote like a Democrat."
-- Harry S. Truman

W's Republican Convention Speech

Sources indicate that the TV networks have agreed to provide English subtitles for Bush's speech.

Monday, August 30, 2004

What He Said....

I Knew He'd Been Watching Too Much Olympics Coverage (Part II)

... when he was way to eager to give urine samples to anyone and everyone.

I Knew He'd Been Watching Too Much Olympics Coverage...

...when he began singing "The Star-Spangled Banner" just because he'd finished peeing before the guy at the next urinal.

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Politics and Money

The amount of cash being raised by candidates today is a little frightening.

If you're curious how much your neighbors, boss or relatives are donating, go to Fundrace. Enter an address or name to find how who is donating to whom. You can also see how much each candidate spends in hotel and airline bills.