15 Minutes Of Fame, Lifetime Of Laughable Obscurity

In 1897 the Indiana state legislature considered House Bill 246, which established
- four separate (and wildly inaccurate) values for pi
- a similarly inaccurate value for the square root of two

Dr. Edwin Goodwin snookered the legislature into considering this legislation, promising that Indiana could use these mathematical absurdities royalty-free. Naturally, other states - and presumably people and businesses - would have to pay to use his, um, products.

Astonishingly, it took a while before the legislature gave up this foolishness.

Get Yer War On

Get Yer War On

Excuse me while I sit down. I'm getting a bit dizzy.

This Is Better Than Those Creams That Don't Work

A Japanese guru claims to have invented a mobile phone ring tone that can help women's breasts to grow bigger.

Hideto Tomabechi's Rockmelon tone registered more than 10,000 downloads in the first week alone.

Tomabechi became famous helping members of the AUM Shinrikyo doomsday cult to return to normal life.

He claims his ring tone has "sounds that make the brain and body move unconsciously".

Tomabechio calls the subliminal breast booster a kind of "positive brainwashing" and says it draws on his teachings of the "powers of cognitive science".

One satisfied user told Japanese media: "I listened to the tune for a week expecting all the time that I was being duped. But, incredibly, my 34-inch bust grew to 35 inches. It was awesome."

Tomabechi says he's now planning other ring tones to help people quit smoking, combat baldness and attract a mate.

Copyright © 2004 Ananova Ltd

Original Link:

Kerry's Magnanimous Offer To Bush

This just in: when John Kerry wins, he will offer George W. Bush a job: ambassador to Iraq.

If The Economy Is So Good, Why Don't Consumers Know It?

Consumer Confidence dropped for the third straight month to its lowest level in half a year, reports that left-wing spin-cycle rag, Forbes Magazine.

Worries about job prospects drove consumer confidence lower in October for the third consecutive month, a New York-based private research group said Tuesday. The decline was steeper than expected and raised questions about how consumers will spend during the critical holiday shopping season.

The Consumer Confidence Index dropped 3.9 points to 92.8, down from a revised 96.7 in September, according to The Conference Board. Analysts had expected a reading of 94.

The October figure is the lowest since March, when the reading was 88.5. The index had been rising since April, before falling 3 points to 98.7 in August and another 2 points in September.

I'm NOT Making This Up

From the New York Times
And Now, a Few Words From the Urinal
By JONATHAN MILLER
Published: September 30, 2004

RICHARD DEUTSCH, an electrical engineer and former chiropractor, has come up with an invention that looks like a hockey puck with mesh wings, is sensitive to changes in light and has a tendency to go off with even the slightest bit of movement, which can prompt red flashing lights, crunchy guitar chords and a commercial announcement.

The most notable detail, however, is its intended placement: in the urinals of public restrooms.

Dr. Deutsch's marketing creation, the Wizmark, which he calls an ''interactive urinal communicator,'' is one of several new technologies to have intruded into the men's room.

At the National Basketball Association finals in Detroit this year, liquid-activated urinal mats proclaimed ''Beat L.A.'' One Minneapolis-based firm, AllOver Media, has installed 15-inch liquid-crystal-display screens above urinals in Minneapolis and Indianapolis, and plans to do so soon in Manhattan.

In a media-saturated world, advertisers have apparently seized one of the last frontiers. Once the advertising pitch begins, ''let's face it, there's no place to go,'' Dr. Deutsch said in an interview at his house and workshop here. ''You literally have a captive audience.''

Dr. Deutsch has enlisted two major customers for his creation: Viacom, which plans to deploy the devices in bars in the next few weeks to promote Country Music Television, and Molson, the Canadian brewer, which is using them in several cities in Quebec.

Still, the product leaves potential advertisers with a serious conundrum. ''I can't see someone wanting their brand name urinated on,'' said Tony Jacobson, a pioneer of restroom advertising and the president of AllOver Media, the company behind the L.C.D. screens above urinals. But some companies disagree with that notion.

''The truth of the matter is, you can't take yourself too seriously with this,'' said James A. Hitchcock, vice president for marketing at Country Music Television. ''And we see this as unapologetic and good-humored. It has this wink-and-smile mentality to it.''

But still, aren't these things annoying? ''Asynchronously, if three or four go off, it's cacophonous,'' Dr. Deutsch acknowledged. And yet, this talking, flashing, squawking invention will be so insidious, he reasoned, that it cannot be ignored.

As the founder and director of Healthquest Technologies, Dr. Deutsch, 58, has invented products like a battery-powered hand-held massager and a rotating plant hanger (the latter provides ''uniform sunlight exposure'').

There were several obstacles to overcome before the Wizmark came to market. First, he had manufacturing problems in China, where standards, he said, are slack. Then the speakers were too loud, so he had to create a thicker plastic casing. And then there was the splash factor, an issue better left unexplained.

As for any danger of electrical shock from the device, which is powered by two AA batteries, he said: ''At three volts? I don't think so.''

Looking ahead, Dr. Deutsch is exploring ways to make his creation read chips on ID badges. ''It'll be able to say, 'Good day, John, how are you doing?'''

Dr. Deutsch is also working on a version that will fit inside a toilet bowl. The details aren't all worked out, but he remains confident. ''I can promise you, it's coming for women,'' he said. ''Like it or not.''

The Top 9 Items of Scientist Jewelry

9. An all-organic benzene ring.
8. A Moebius wedding band.
7. Neutrino earrings: no piercing required.
6. A charm quark bracelet.
5. A superstring of pearls: Folds up neatly into a non-dimensional
carrying case, so you never need to worry about theft.
4. Heisenberg's "You Are Here *or* You're Going There" GPS watch.
3. A dark matter necklace: "No, seriously honey, I got you a gift
for our anniversary. It just can't be observed."
2. Archimedes' bathtub ring.
1. An asteroid belt with Fibonacci sequins.
Copyright 2004 by Chris White

Speaking of Animals in Campaign Ads - This Rocks!

We've heard from the wolves. Now the Democrats strike back on the "wolfpack ad".

It loads fast, too.

Wolfpacksfortruth.org

For those lucky enough to have slept through the pre-election mud-slinging... the "elect Bush so we don't have to steal another election" crowd released a scare-campaign ad comparing terrorists to a pack of wolves.

Now the wolves strike back.

By the way, FactCheck.org explains just how wrong is the original wolf pack ad.