I Guess I Don't Get Out Enough

It would never have occurred to me to try this:

Dateline New London, WN, 7-23-04 1:15 p.m.:
"A juvenile approached an officer at the Hortonville Police Department complaining about having a lock stuck around his right testicle for three days and he didn't know how to get it off"

.... The officer found a master key ....

"Having the master key in hand, the juvenile left the room for a moment and returned with the lock. The officer spoke to the juvenile about experimenting with sexuality and how he needs to be more careful in the future."

Time For A Career Change

Paul Michael Callahan, 32, was arrested in Boston after he botched a series of robberies.

• The first was the copy shop at Boston University, believing it was a bank. [I always get those mixed up] The clerk asked, "Do you know you're in a copy store and all we can give you is copies?"
• Callahan fled but allegedly robbed a Fleet Bank branch a few minutes later (getting less than $200)
• He did somewhat better at a Citizen's Bank branch, clearing about $2,500.
• But it was all downhill after that.
  • The red-dye pack from Citizen's Bank exploded.
  • His getaway car got a flat tire.
  • Police found him hiding in a gas station.

Boston Globe, 8-31-04

Thank You, Patriot Act

The FBI has a new way of tracking terrorists.

They are now able to see every click they make on the internet. Privacy advocates say this is bad, but the FBI says you will never even notice, and it won't affect the common man at all.

How To Track A Terrorist On The Internet.

Happy Surfing!

Without Comment

This Sounds Like a Punchline From Dilbert

For the Halloween party at work this year, I went as a disgruntled employee. The costume was simple: all I had to do was wear my regular clothes and *improve* my attitude.
-- James Knowles
Copyright 2004, Chris White

XMAS Is Coming - The Perfect Gift

A George W. Bush Action Figure, with the action he does best.

The web site includes audio, but it is work-safe, unless your boss in a Republican.

Never Forget

Holocaust Martyrs' and Heroes' Remembrance Authority

Search by name, location, birthplace, etc.

On This day in 1963

History Channel

We're Number 1!

Need more proof?

Falluja is not the only insurgent-controlled part of Iraq. Among the many other areas is the "Triangle of Death" south of Baghdad.

There Sunni insurgent leaders offer cash bounties for killing certain kinds of people:

• $1,000 for a Shiite
• $2,000 for a member of the Iraqi National Guard
• $3,000 for an American

Aren't free markets great? One Yank is worth three Shiites. Woo-hoo!

USA!
USA!
USA!