Celebrity Watch.

Rumor has it that Robert Blake called Scott Peterson and asked if he wanted to go grab a beer. Then Blake said, "Oh, wait -- you LOST your case. Never mind."

That was just before Blake filed a restraining order against O.J. -- "that guy's a murderer, for crying out loud!"

©2005, Chris White

The Monster is Back & Still For Sale

For those of you who just got here, a Mother has been trying to auction off the monster that lives under her daughter's bed. In a very short time, the auction had over 54,000 visitors, and more than 100 bids. Then e-Bay shut down the auction [I have no idea why]. Read the earlier article.

Well, Mom, her daughter, and Cara (the monster) are back. The little girl wants her monster to go away, but only to a good new home. And the auction action is fast and furious. Check out the activity:

Visitors' Counter Press F5 Key to refresh counter

If you're the successful bidder, think of all the good things that will happen:
1. A little girl will be able to sleep, knowing that the monster is gone.
2. You can give Cara The Monster a good home.
3. You'll help fund the daughter's education.
4. Talk shows. Book Deals. Movie rights. You know what I mean.
5. Your own personal 15 minutes of fame.

Don't let this opportunity slip away! Adopt the monster under the bed (or at least go look). Don't let this opportunity slip away! Adopt the monster under the bed (or at least go look). Click Here.

[Handling a parenting situation this way is a stroke of parental genius. I tip my hat to Mom.]

The Top 100 Gadgets of All Time

Whether they're strapped to our belts, sitting on our desks, or jammed in an overstuffed closet, Americans absolutely love their gadgets.

So it wasn't exactly easy coming up with the definitive list of the 100 best gadgets ever unleashed. But if you outsource it to gearheads like those at PC Mobile Magazine, you'll probably get a good list.

In the weeks they spent debating the entries, tempers were flared, fingers were pointed, chairs were smashed over heads, and feelings were hurt. But they emerged, like Moses from the mountain, with the world's most authoritative ranking of the best gadgets of all time.

Wolfowitz Would Make a Good World Bank President

Top 10 Reasons: Paul Wolfowitz Would Make a Good World Bank President
By John Cavanagh Director of Institute for Policy Studies

President George Bush chose Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz to be the President of the World Bank. Wolfowitz, a leading neocon, is credited with making most of the major blunders that got us into the war in Iraq, followed up by the botched planning (or no planning) that has complicated that war. The Institute for Policy Studies makes some observations on this.

WARNING: this post is for political wonks only.


1. He would follow in the great tradition of World Bank president Robert McNamara, who also before getting the job, helped kill tens of thousands of people in a poor country most Americans couldn’t find on a map.
2. It helps to be a good liar when you run an institution with employees who earn over $100,000 a year to pretend to help billions of people who live on less than $1 a day.
3. With all his experience helping U.S. companies grab Iraq ’s oil profits, he's got just the right experience for doling out lucrative World Bank contracts to U.S. businesses.
4. After predecessor James Wolfensohn blew millions of dollars on "consultations" with citizen groups to give the appearance of openness, Wolfowitz's tough-guy style is just what’s needed to rid the World Bank of those irritating activists.
5. Unlike former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina, another one of the four leading candidates, at least Wolfowitz hasn't failed at running a Fortune 500 company.
6. Unlike the Treasury Department’s John Taylor, another leading candidate, at least Wolfowitz doesn't want to get rid of the institution he would head.
7. While earning a University of Chicago Ph.D. , he was exposed to the tenets of market fundamentalism that have reigned at the World Bank for decades.
8. He has experience in constructing echo chambers where only the advice he wants to hear is spoken.
9. He knows some efficient private contractors who build echo chambers for only a few hundred billion dollars (cost plus, of course).
10. He can develop a pre-emptive poverty doctrine where the World Bank could invade countries that fail to make themselves safe for U.S. business, modeled on the U.S. pre-emptive war doctrine he helped craft.

More information about contenders for the World Bank’s presidency.

40% of Red-Staters are $%^&ing Crazy

A new Gallup Poll released today shows that while Americans have very negative opinions of Syria, North Korea, and Iran, by very wide margins they do not want to go to war with them. Still, about 4 in 10 Republicans would support "military action" against each of the countries.

Americans Don't Like Syria, Iran, N. Korea, but Don't Want War

In the total sample, two in three oppose military action against Iran (66%), Syria (65%), or North Korea (62%).

This comes despite the three countries’ low favorable ratings: Syria (25%), North Korea (12%), and Iran (12%).

As usual these days, sharp partisan intellectual capacity splits are apparent.
46% of Republicans would support military action against North Korea
26% of independents would support military action against North Korea
23% of Democrats would support military action against North Korea

For Iran it breaks down similarly (43%-23%-17%) and Syria (39%-23%-13%).

Support for military action against Iran has declined, however, since January 2002, shortly after 9/11 and President Bush’s “axis of evil” speech. Back then 71% said they would back military action against Iran.

How To Find A Cop When You Need One

In LaGrange, Ind., a tractor-trailer hauling chickens collided with a Krispy Kreme doughnuts truck, killing some of the poultry and causing the highway to close for a time. Over 200 police officers arrived to assist with the cleanup, allowing the chickens to roam free as they rounded up the fast-escaping doughnuts.
-- Jerry L. Embry
©Chris White Web's Best Original Humor

Iraq is NOT another Vietnam

Bush had a plan to get out of Vietnam.

The 15 Most Annoying IT-speak Clichés Ever Used

Sports figures are the most notorious for uttering annoying cliches to reporters, probably because there is nothing original that now can be said by an athlete or coach. After some 150 years of the media covering athletics, most every situation has happened and everything's already been said. Lines such as "We play them one at a time," "Our players gave 110 percent out there," and "We'll have to bring our 'A' game to win" are yawningly familiar. Same goes for almost any kind of reporting -- including IT news. Any journalist on the job for more than 24 hours knows that wherever company officials walk, well-worn clichés are sure to follow. I suppose it was only a matter of time, but somebody has put together a formidable list of IT reporting clichés. When I read it, I laughed and I cried. Here is the list:

1. At the end of the day
2. Solution
3. Thinking outside the box
4. Synergy
5. Paradigm
6. Metrics
7. Take it offline
8. Redeployed people
9. Core Competency
10. Win-win
11. Value-added
12. Get on the same page
13. Customer-centric
14. Generation X
15. Alignment

Now, tell the truth: Can you read the above list without a smirky smile, nodding your head knowingly, rolling your eyes -- or all of the above? Also, truthfully: How many of these do you use in your daily routine?
StolUm, borrowed, from IT managers' Journal

Everything Just Got a Little More Interesting

Seems Muslims in Spain are looking to finish the job that our President totally abandoned (just like every other job he ever had).

While Bush holds fake town hall meetings about dead-in-the-water issues he's married to, Spain's Muslim clerics want to take care of some real business the world wanted Bush to get done.

If this succeeds, guess who'll take credit for it? He's knitting the "Mission Accomplished" banner right now.

Bin Laden Fatwa Issued by Spain's Muslims

(CNN) - Muslim clerics in Spain have issued what they called the world's first fatwa, or Islamic edict, against Osama bin Laden as the country marked the first anniversary of the Madrid train bombings that killed 191 people.

They accused him of abandoning his religion and urged others of their faith to denounce the al Qaeda leader, who is believed to be hiding out near the Pakistan-Afghanistan border.

The ruling was issued by the Islamic Commission of Spain, the main body representing the country's 1 million-member Muslim community. The commission invited imams to condemn terrorism at Friday prayers.

The fatwa said that according to the Koran "the terrorist acts of Osama bin Laden and his organization al Qaeda ... are totally banned and must be roundly condemned as part of Islam.

The action took place on the eve of the first anniversary of the country's worst-ever terror attack -- which many observers have coined as Europe's 9/11, a reference to the al Qaeda attacks on the United States in 2001.

Hoffmania inspired this entry, and provided most of the wording. The difference is that I'm a bit more polite when it comes to discussing Dubya.