MMS Friends

(the blog formerly known as Je ne sais quoi)

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Montana Legislature Condemns Patriot Act

HELENA - Montana lawmakers overwhelmingly passed what its sponsor called the nation's most strongly worded criticism of the federal Patriot Act on Friday, uniting politicians of all stripes.

The resolution, which already galloped through the Senate and passed the House 88-12 Friday, must survive a final vote before it officially passes."

Friday, April 08, 2005

Quote O'Day

Jesus was a Capricorn, he ate organic foods.
He believed in love and peace and never wore no shoes.
Long hair, beard and sandals and a funky bunch of friends.
Reckon they'd just nail him up if He come down again.
- J. Prine

Thursday, April 07, 2005

You Know That Bumper Sticker.....

The one that brags "My Kid Is An Honor Student At...."

How would you word a bumper sticker about this boy's accomplishment?

10-year old Noah Nielsen, of Montpelier, VT, beat six other contestants from around the country Tuesday in the 30th annual National Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest.
First prize?
- A $500 savings bond,
- A $100 check (for new sneakers)
- A supply of Odor-Eaters products

When asked how how created such awful shoes, he simply answered "No socks, ever."

"The stank was from rubbing my toes back and forth and making them sweaty," said Nielsen, with his trophy in hand and two golden sneakers hanging from his neck.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

When Did Fraud Become Honorable?

ABC News, April 5, 2005 — The good news reached the Jamestown, N.Y., office of Dr. Rudolph Mueller in a fax from a congressman in Washington. Mueller had been named 2004 Physician of the Year.

There was a little catch. To receive the award, he had to go to a 2-day workshop in D.C. To attend the workshop he had to "contribute" $1250 to the National Republican Congressional Committee. Smelling a rat, Dr. Mueller teamed up with ABC News to investigate this highly unusual, um, well, what would you call it?

It turns out that the award was on the up-and-up. Dr. Mueller received the 2004 Physician of the Year Award for which he had paid. In fact, it was so up-and-up, that hundreds of other doctors received their 2004 Physician of the Year Awards, also. Did I mention that there were hundreds of 2004 Physician of the Year Awards distributed?

Did you ever go to one of the events where you can get your "free" weekend at a resort? The ones where you get locked in a mass sales pitch with all the other "winners"? And your weekend consists of salespeople trying to wear you down until you buy a timeshare or some such foolishness?

So Dr. Mueller's $1250 bought him a worthless piece of paper AND sales pitches from George W. Bush and Tom Delay. He got to sit through pitches about why trial lawyers are the scum of the Earth and should be banned, why the Republican Health Care reforms are God's gift.

Dr. Mueller, author of As Sick As It Gets: The Shocking Reality of America's Healthcare, A Diagnosis and Treatment Plan, wanted to talk about really fixing health care. Mueller said most of the talk at the sessions was about marketing, lawyers and taxes, and that he was met with silence when trying to raise the issue of the lack of affordable health insurance.

"It's like the old diploma mills," said Fred Wertheimer, president of Democracy 21, a government watchdog group. "It's the kind of scam that we've seen congressional investigations look at when they take place in the private sector. But here, since members of Congress are doing it, we're not going to see any investigation."

Some of the other winners told Mueller that his $1,250 fee to the NRCC was a wise investment indeed. He should use the award as a marketing tool, they said, as an impressive honor he could tell patients.

Wertheimer warned that the award was misleading and that they should add the award was given "because I paid for this certificate, not for anything else that happened."

A Republican spokesman said there were thousands of doctors around the country content with their Physicians of the Year awards, and that there was nothing about the program to apologize for.

Some of the attendees shamelessly post NRCC's Physician of the Year among their honors and credentials - even on the Internet. What you you do if your doctor proudly displayed a fraudulent award? I'd wonder what other paper on his/her wall was fraudulent.

Google "Physician of the Year" + NRCC . You will quickly discover that a lot of doctors should be ashamed of themselves. Note: the same scam has been used with "Businessmen." There are many, many NRCC "Businessman of the Year".

This scam, perpetrated many "professionals," raises millions of dollars for the NRCC. I'll bet if you contacted any true-believer Republican congressional rep, you, too could get the award, and you, too, could con John & Jane Public that there is something special about you.

Hey, I know a true-believer Republican congressional rep. Maybe he could get me a discount on "Blogger of the Year" or "Webmaster of the Year" or just leave the title part blank and let me fill it in.

Pop Culture Affects The King's English

clavin (v):
An ill-advised action which results in snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

This is based on the "What is. . . Cliff Clavin?" episode of the long-running sitcom Cheers. Airing on Jan. 18, 1990, the episode featured resident know-it-all Cliff Clavin (played by John Ratzenberger) as a Jeopardy! contestant.

In the episode, Clavin does quite well, carrying an insurmountable lead in the final round of the show, assuring his victory as long as he doesn't wager his entire winnings on the last question. Of course, Clavin does just that--and ends up so stumped by the question that he replies with the Jeopardy!-style answer: "Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?" Cliff Clavin lost all of his "winnings".

See also
clavin (n): as in "he pulled a clavin".
I Lost On Jeopardy and Weird Al Yankovic

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

This Represents a Mandate?

President Bush's approval rating has plunged to the lowest level of any president since World War II at this point in his second term, the Gallup Organization reported today.

Here are the approval ratings for presidents as recorded by Gallup in the March following their re-election:

Truman, 1949: 57%
Eisenhower, 1957: 65%
Johnson, 1965: 69%
Nixon, 1973: 57%
Reagan, 1985: 56%
Clinton, 1997: 59%
Bush, 2005: 45%

Webster's Dictionary Joins The Real World

Yup, that's right, the real world. The dictionarians finally added "wedgie". Actually, they added common usage of the word to the more-or-less existing, but defunct, usage (those awful shoes).

They worked at a frantic pace to come up with 58 "new" words - and 20 added definintions for existing words - including, but not limited to, "wedgie".

wedgie: noun. a prank in which the victim's undershorts are jerked upward so as to become wedged between the buttocks. The definition takes all the fun out of it.
    Want to know more? Here are some "new" words:
  • Al Qaeda - let's hope they got the spelling right
  • blog - what the heck is a blog?
  • cargo pants - right up there with wedgie (shoes) in the rubble of the fashion world
  • irritable bowel syndrome - what I get when I hear the next word
  • partial-birth abortion - this is a fraudulent, emotionally charged substitute term for a medical procedure which is hard on everyone involved, and only performed as a last option to keep from killing someone; the proper term, the one which rational people use, is "Dilation & Extraction Procedure"
I got this earth-shaking news from KIRO-TV (Seattle)

Monday, April 04, 2005

OK, I Was Wrong

I always figured that the creationists were too stubborn and too stupid to realize "it". It turns out the the most stupid among them actually gets "it".

Background:
In January the Dover, PA school board ordered teachers to tell students that Darwinism is not proved, and to teach as well an alternate theory, "intelligent design," which posits that a grand creator, God, is responsible for the development of living organisms.

Science teachers refused to comply. Parents, supported by the American Civil Liberties Union filed suit against the school board.

The town is clearly split over the issue. The punchline:
Ray Mummert, parent, pastor, and creationist in Dover, PA said it all:
"We've been attacked by the intelligent, educated segment of the culture," he said.

Thank you, Ray. I could never have made up stuff this good.